Sex and Kids These Days

Did you know that only one-third of teenage mothers complete high school? 80% of unmarried teen mothers end up on welfare. 60% of boys and 77% of girls who have had sex wish that they had waited.

The good news is that while the statistics seem bleak, failure doesn’t necessarily have to follow. Here’s the point: The benefits are always greater when you wait until you’re ready to handle all of the emotional, physical, and financial issues related to sex. This is not religious or political. This is just practical. There is contraception available and other ways to minimize the possibility of pregnancy or STIs, but truthfully, abstinence is the only 100% effective method of prevention. The choice is yours and it’s pretty basic: Wait or risk. A new youth culture promotes patience in every area of life. And sex is a big part of life.

But let’s say you are pregnant. Please know that it’s fairly common and there is plenty of help out there. Here are some suggestions.

1. Make sure you are surrounded by supportive friends and family members who will be available and keep you positive about yourself and your situation.

2. Also know that you have several options to continue your education while pregnant. You can continue at your own high school. In most situations, this is probably the easiest way to go. Inform your school counselor so they can help. You could also pursue independent study which allows you to complete classes from home. Also, getting your GED can open up many doors to continued education.

There are many things to think through. Ask yourself: Am I ready for this responsibility? Do I have the necessary support of the child’s father or my family? These are questions only you can answer.

Know your options.  Adoption and abortion are two more options for an unplanned pregnancy. Be sure to educate yourself about the risks and challenges before making a decision.

There are various reasons why 34% of teenage girls choose abortion. Perhaps they feel unready to raise a child, or unable to afford the baby, or that a child would interfere with education or career plans. Maybe her parents or partner want her to have an abortion. There can be physical, emotional or other costs attached to aborting a child. Many women rationalize their need for an abortion, repressing initial negative feelings about it. Emotional reactions to abortion can be delayed sometimes for as long as 5 to 10 years.

So what about adoption? Fact: Only 1% of teen pregnancies result in adoption. By choosing adoption over abortion, birth mothers choose to do not what is easiest for themselves, but instead head down the difficult but rewarding path to adoption out of natural feelings of care for their child. To this small percentage of teenage girls adoption is worth the difficulty.

Ray Rice and the Dirt on Bullying

One national study shows that 20% of students in grades 9-12 have experienced bullying. The same findings also note that 16% of high school students (grades 9-12) were “cyberbullied” in the past year.

Bullying is repeated aggressive behavior against others. Kids who bully use things like social power or physical strength to hurt others. But what you may not hear is that bullies are often insecure themselves. Some of them are popular. Others are isolated and may be depressed or afraid, have low self esteem.

The Columbia Association partnered with the Howard County Library to produce a Choose Civility Anti-Bullying PSA with NFL star Ray Rice! Thanks to Ray Rice, for being such an active role to stop bullying!

Bullying can come in different forms:

• Verbal: Teasing, taunting, name-calling, threats, intimidation
• Social: Harming reputations, spreading rumors, humiliation
• Physical: Hitting people or damaging property
• Cyber: Sending hurtful texts or emails, posting embarrassing pictures, videos, or fake profiles, spreading rumors through social media, etc)

Targets are usually kids perceived as “different” or are new to a school or have issues with weight or are unable to afford “cool” clothing or things. Kids who are perceived as unpopular are easy targets for bullies. And bullies like easy targets.

Kids who are bullied are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, loneliness, poor health, and loss of interest in activities. These issues may persist into adulthood. There is also decreased academic interest. They are more likely to miss, skip, or drop out of school. A very small percentage may resort to extreme violence. In 12 of 15 school shooting cases in the 1990s, the shooters had a history of being bullied.

But bullies themselves aren’t as “together” as they may appear. Bullies are more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs and drop out. They sometimes take their negative traits into adulthood resulting in legal troubles and being abusive toward partners, spouses, and even children.

So what can we do about it? Bullying has become a headline issue. As a result we are already seeing an anti-bullying movement. Join it. Model how to treat others with respect. Make sure that bullies know that you will stand with those they bully. “Friend” people who are being bullied. Ask about their schoolwork, look to understand them. Encourage them to achieve. Invite them to activities that can boost their confidence. Include them.

* The 2011 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention)

Better Things to do than…

As long as there is a way to escape reality, drugs will be around. As long as there is a desire to numb, alcohol consumption will race out of control. And as long as drugs and alcohol are around, there will be early deaths, addiction, and ruined lives. It’s a trick, it’s a trap, it’s the truth: Drug and alcohol abuse has devastating consequences. Are YOU winning the war on drugs? At the end of the day, this really does boil down to a personal question. Abusers are losers unless they change. And it’s not too late to change.

According to a recent survey (TeenHelp.com), high school students confirmed these substance abuse trends over the past year:

• Alcohol: 70.6%
• Marijuana: 34.3%
• Stimulants/”Uppers”: 10%
• Other opiates: 9.5%
• Tranquilizers: 7.3%
• Sedatives: 6.5%
• Hallucinogens: 6.2%
• Cocaine: 5.3%
• Inhalants: 4.2%
• Steroids: 2.5%
• Heroin: 0.9%

Drug and alcohol abuse ruins health, relationships, grades, and motivation. Oh, and it KILLS PEOPLE too. Getting trapped in drugs or alcohol can happen through a single experiment or so-called “recreational” use. The only 100% proven addiction prevention method is to never even touch the stuff in the first place.

But if you have, consider these questions:

• Always think about it?
• Use to relax or forget problems?
• Isolate from family and/or friends?
• Worsening grades?
• Related money problems?
• Feel sick or shaky without?
• Change in weight?
• Need more to feel the same effect?

If you answered yes to more than one of these questions, then you better get help. Some great online resources are abovetheinfluence.com and teenhelp.com.

If you have not ever started, then don’t. Lead the way into a new day defined by clean and sober living and thinking.

Will you be a sad statistic or will you help shape a new youth culture?

The Suicide Option?

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the third-leading cause of death among teenagers. In the United States, more than 72,000 teens are treated in hospitals yearly because of attempted suicide.

It is important to note that there are some factors that can make suicide seem a more desirable option for some teens, like family psychological history, substance abuse, abuse or violence, and mental, emotional or physical disorders.

There is a fair chance that you or someone you know has considered suicide or is currently thinking about it. Here are some signs:

• Giving or throwing away important belongings, cleaning room etc.
• Withdrawal from friends, family, regular activities
• Violent actions, rebellious behavior, or running away
• Marked personality change
• Saying “goodbye” like it is permanent
• Not “keeping up” with physical appearance
• Suicide threats – even joking about it
• Comments such as “I’d be better off dead,” “It’s no use,” “nothing matters,” “There’s no point in living,” “Soon you won’t have to worry about me,” or “If I died, people would like me more”
• Obsession with death

Here’s how you can help*

• LISTEN – don’t give advice, make judgements, or attempt to solve their problem – just listen
• Comment on the changes that you have noticed (“I’ve noticed that you haven’t been laughing so much these days, is something wrong?”) this shows that you are concerned
• Take them seriously
• Send the message that you care about them, that you want to help
• Do not leave the person alone! Get help even if your friend has asked you not to tell anyone. Don’t ever agree to keep someone’s suicide plans a secret. An angry friend is better than a dead friend. Try to get them to tell you who they trust. Stay with your friend until you find an adult who can help.
• Youth who are experiencing suicidal thoughts often act impulsively. During this time it is important to restrict access to any hazardous items (knives, razor blades, car keys, ropes, firearms, medications, etc) in case they feel the impulse to act.
• Keep the discussion of suicide out in the open. Develop an interest in the positive aspects and thoughts that the youth has towards life.
• Prepare a support network of caring people for your friend
• Carefully select support people your friend trusts, with whom they can share, and who can also watch out for suicide warning signs

Here are three common treatment options:

Individual therapy. This is suicide treatment that involves therapy just for the teenager to help him or her work through feelings and suicidal thoughts.

Family therapy. Sometimes family therapy works best in instances of teen suicide treatment. This can provide a supportive environment for the teenager, as well as help the family learn how to cope with the problem and work together.

Hospitalization. In some cases, it is necessary to provide a teenager with a secure, safe and constantly supervised environment, which might be necessary in extreme cases.

Have you had thoughts about suicide? You’re not alone. Lots of people do. It doesn’t mean you’re crazy or weak. It’s just that your pain seems overwhelming and it seems like it’ll never go away. But with time and support, you can overcome your problems and the pain will pass. You really can start enjoying life again.

It’s very important to talk to someone who is safe and supportive. You have to get help with this. You can’t just bottle it up. It takes courage to ask for help. Here is a resource link that can help you right now.

*Source: http://www.youthsuicide.ca

More helpful resources: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Don’t Drop Out

Every 26 seconds a student drops out of school in the U.S. That’s 7000 students a day. 1 out of every 4 students will drop out (25%) and 1.3 million will not graduate this year.

So why do students drop out? There are many reasons. Some students are under a lot of social stress. They are bullied or feel like outcasts. Others are dealing with drug or alcohol. Some are pregnant. Still others feel that school isn’t needed or relevant for their lives.

There are specific factors to watch for in students who are likely to drop out of school. If you see one or more of these signs, get involved! You can give these students the boost they need to stay in school.

• They don’t feel challenged in school

• They believe their parents are too controlling and they want to rebel

• They feel like they are not as smart as other students

• They have drug, alcohol or mental health problems

• They regularly miss school or are frequently tardy

• They struggle with problems at home, including physical or verbal abuse

• They feel like they don’t fit in or have friends at school

• Their peers or siblings have dropped out of school

• They have poor learning conditions at school—such as overcrowding, high levels of violence and excessive absenteeism

So will you be a sad statistic or will you help shape a new youth culture?